10 Reasons I hated Vettaiyadu Villayadu

[ratings]

Warning: may contain spoilers.

On the way back from IMC6, all five of us had reached a unanimous verdict; VV was crap and thanks to the movie we were going to have a pretty screwed up Monday. Not to mention, we swore to stay off the theatres for the next year.

I won’t blame Kamal here because he sort of dropped a hint in a recent interview with cartoonist Madan (on Vijay TV). He said something like, “Tamizh Cinema’la Photography, Editing’la namba munnera’na maadri Screenplay, Direction, Acting’la innum namba munnera’la” (Tamil Cinema has grown in terms of Photography and Editing, but we have hardly improved, when it comes to Screenplay, Direction and Acting”). While you’re watching VV, those words ring very true.

Now, here are the 10 Reasons to hate this movie:

1. Harris Jeyaraj

2. Harris Jeyaraj

3. Harris Jeyaraj
I’m barely holding myself from using expletives here, but the fact is HJ has mastered the fine knack of screwing up every recent movie of his (remember ‘Anniyan’, ‘Ghajini’) with the jarring cacophony, he bills as background music. There are times when you wished there was no music at all! I mean, why does he have to back Kamal’s policework with the police/army drum roll? It belongs in Thanga Padhakam, definately not here. The next time I have an eardrum transplant, he’s paying for it.

4. Songs
Neither do the songs help move the movie’s narration spatially/temporally nor do they make you sit up and take notice. The film feels like it’s made of four VERY long songs with a few scenes thrown in between them.

5. A Short gone too far.
VV at best is fit to be a short story, not a 2 hour plus “thriller”. To use a cliché here, like the Energizer bunny it goes on and on and on; only in this case you don’t want it to. The later part of a movie feels like a big drag.

6. Kamal-Jothika pairing
Two ice cubes rubbed against each other could’ve produced more sparks than this lead pairing. There’s no motivation for you to root for them. In fact every time they get together in the second half of the movie, they make up a good irritant to the narration. Hate to say this, but Kamalini Mukerjhee’s 10 minute romancing with Kamal does more than what He and Jothika achieve in this movie plus ‘Thenali’.

7. Kamal Haasan’s accent
Kamal has this pretentious accent that nobody speaks either in India or in the US; and it isn’t new either. He’s been doing it since ‘Thoongadae Thambi Thoongadae’ (to an extent in Michael Madhana Kamaraj too). It simply gets on the nerve. Imagine what havoc it can cause when his flair for using this accent meets shooting on location in the US. He doesn’t leave it at the Immigration checkin either, he offers doses of advice to his men (bewildered TN Cops from Keeranor, Sathoor and beyond) in chaste Kamanglish (”Wha we hav here is plaiiin bad police wok”).

8. Logic
There are a few directors and films, which you expect to stand up to a certain scale. Gautam fails us badly with some bad performance in the Department of common sense. Which D.C.P in his senses would meet his love interest on the streets to discuss such matters as committing himself and life after!

***spoiler alert***
In the climax, if the killer had to finish Jothika, why not do it first and then get to Kamal. If these two men were gay, there is no explanation why they have a thing for women; why not just kill them and get off?

It’s worser on the shores of New York. Even cops in small town America wouldn’t approach a suspect in pair, one gets close, while the other back’s him up from a distance. Here we have NYPD’s finest presenting themselves to a guy, who obviously is passing instructions to an unseen person, only to be ambushed moments later. I could accept it in a Chuck Norris flick, but not from a guy who seems to stick to realism. Worse, if you were to trust Gautam, one could kill three NYPD cops, take a flight to India and almost get through without a hassle. Days after losing thier men to two dangerous psychopaths (still at large), why would the American cops sit back and let Mr. Raghavan do all the “Vettaiyadu Vilayadu” work!

The scene inside the theatre was so bad, towards the climax; we could hear people behind us loudly challenge the Hero’s IQ. “Is he stupid, can’t he just use his Siren or Lights?” (On a busy Madras road, Kamal-the-cop-on-a-police-Jeep chases a guy on a bike just like any ordinary dude!). “Can’t he just use his gun?” (”The guy on a bike” starts on foot and we have a fully geared Kamal in hot pursuit for a considerable amount of time). I’m not voting in favour of the later, but I’m just trying to explain the mood inside.
***spoiler alert end***

9. Gore & Violence
If I wanted to watch women being raped, their throats getting slashed, more women getting raped and thrown into the bushes with excruciating authenticity, I would rather sit at home and watch a “Police Report” (Sun TV) or “Kuttram” (Vijay TV). The use of excessive violence should go in a way to extend the story, not overwhelm it! Somewhere down the line Gautum seems confused about what the extensions (rapes, murders) are and what the mainstay (story) is!

10. Even a double shot Espresso couldn’t get the pain out of the head.